i am very fucking superstitious about my dreams.

this is where the [MOVED] go.

define recurring nightmares.

i can't remember everything about this one. all i remember is skipping class, climbing the roofs of school buildings, sliding down banisters of old wooden stairwells, only to arrive in class, where the floor was sloped upward from the door like some sort of runway. the desks were arranged along the runway, watching the people performing on it. i was towards the far wall across from the door. an empty desk was next to me. i made room for [n] to sit down. he's my crush. we talked a lot, i think i fell in love with him some more. i felt guilty when i woke up.

i had a weird dream about my ex. maybe it's bc i alternated between thinking of him and [d] before i went to sleep. in the dream, we were working together on something. we were next to each other, our shoulders were touching, but he didn't talk to me. as i was getting frustrated with what i was doing, probably some school work, he pulled me into his chest and held me. i kicked a chair. he placed his chin on my head and walked me out of the classroom. he was walking me somewhere else. when i had calmed down, he let go of me, and brushed his hand along my arm. i said "thank you" and walked off. he paused for a second, then turn and went. i must be missing some things but... now i'm really confused about my subconscious. what is it trying to tell me...

dream started out with doing some yardwork with mom. plants inside house were green which is i'm sad to say unconventional since most of our plants are somewhat dead/dying. had a singular movie ticket to see clarita, but the theater was located in new jersey so bad so sad. went outsice to bright yellow yard, but came upon bigger than life pinball machine without the paddles. had to roll into a hole in the bottom while inside a shopping cart; had to avoid life sized white balls of varying sizes in a tunnel. a van picked us up and took us to seemingly atlantis. forgot but there was this ocean in our backyard that resembled the coast along an abandoned but stereotypical abandoned island filled with Amazonian treasure. head of atlantis didn't look too happy i was there, having connections with a woman i thought was my mom but was transformed. was a kid that explained how i wanted to visit atlantis and how my bedroom overlooked the coast a couple steps into the backyard. he then lead us into the inside of a jet turbine, something similar to the mechanical tunnels in neon genesis evangelion, i saw some cats outside near the edge of the ledge of a window, they were chubby and wore scarfs. it wasn't underwater obviously, more like overlooking some water. i then ate a lot of food, disgustingly topping most of it with whipped cream and choking it down. the tour group i was with was shuffled into a high ceiling room filled with chairs and a big podium. it was a college meeting and a hallway leading to a sorority to my right. dad argued with some leader about recieving school emails. i sneezed and excused myself. people laughed. the next part of the dream made me uncomfortable so i won't tell it.

back to school again. there was a mass inside a classroom. i had my mom's phone and it rang in my hand, i didn't see the number, but it was important enough to worry about getting it to her. she left it there. my aunt told me to give it to her. i couldn't find her. i had three phones in my jacket pocket, most likely my dirty ass white sweatshirt. there were 3 classes of 21-22 students in the same classroom,it was packed to shit but i found my mom. she told me that i looked sick to get something to eat and that we would order from somewhere. instead i went around some hallways to find the cafeteria. they had toxic purple and greenish pizza, which is pretty accurate. i then found 2 big pillows and a small head pillow. i went back to dozens of classrooms with tables set up outside in the hallway. students were sitting along the walls, and it was dark, like it was almost night, probably a time to sleep.. i saw [redacted 2] he was wearing baby blue even i'm embarassed to type this down fuck. it was like midnight. there were fluorescent lights coming from a door down the hallway.

i watch a guy contemplate eating 3 pancakes and a banana, then i get a snapshot into his head, and it was fucked up, but i couldn't get out but debate hanging himself on a jungle gym. someone saw him like a jump to reality from inside his head, as he was doing it.

27 22 terra road. someone's grandparents came to visit. granddaughter in law and grandson greeted them. son left my character outside because the camera didn't follow to inside the house. i'm kinda confused by this dream, and why i remembered the street; dunno if it's real or fake, but just don't look it up.

four dogs. colors relative to old and rotten. kit and night had four puppies colored purple brown and black. i said i'm so happy for you, probably as a dog as i played around with the puppies. and no i don't consider myself a furry. my subconscious is just fucking with me.

i said this to a cute guy in the twilight. he seemed just as concerned as i was, going to his room. the wilderness was disgusting, bog-like, did you see the lake? there's something under there. high up guest house. window. no door. the house was made of glass. there was a gathering outside. they saw me from at my window, but i don't remember their faces.

school but new + diff, like radically different, with clean floors and escalators. forgot schedule. losing or not knowing my schedule was a fear i had since middle school, after walking into the wrong classroom, making myself at home, only to be kicked out and embarrased, my name said aloud in front of strangers.... bunch of people there. library diff. a place of sanctuary on many occassions during 5th grade and second year high school.

i had a dream about [redacted], a date with him. it was vivd, like it was real, but silent. i flipped through a sketchbook to write a poem for him, possibly one of the activities assigned by the instructor, the one i greeted on the way in, i didn't recognize the work inside. it was beautiful and bright the colors were warm yellows-oranges-browns... but his eyes were intense. it was in a library. i remember the first line i wrote. you were sensitive, like a flower to the sun, or something along those lines anyway. and the past-tense sounds like regret, since the last time i saw you.... there was more but i don't remember. safe + sound plays in my head, the one by Taylor Swift. i didn't see what he wrote for me.